CARLSGOOD 2023

At the end of the Carlsbad retreat in Southern California this summer, we had a wonderful unanticipated experience. As is customary at the end of all of Gurunath’s retreats, group photographs were taken. For the final photographs that include the whole group, Gurunath wanted us all to turn around and face the back of the room. Gurunath sat in a chair at the back of the room with a large window behind him. After all the photographs were taken, he suddenly and unexpectedly guided us into states of samadhi. His face transformed and sometimes looked like the negative of a photograph, the kind of photograph that used to be taken before the digital age. When he took us to an Ananda state, I felt blissful and had tears of joy rolling down my cheek. At first, I tried to practice the Kriya breath. Then I had a hard time getting the breath to go down my spine. It only wanted to stay in the upper parts of my body. Then for what seemed like a long period of time, it didn’t seem necessary to breathe at all. I realized later that this was a state of kevali kumbhak. Gurunath transported us to a state of absolute stillness. I can’t really describe what it was like, but it was an amazing experience.After Gurunath brought us back to a normal state and we opened our eyes, a five-year-old girl among us wanted to ask Gurunath a question. She wanted to know where God was, if He was in front of her or behind. Gurunath thought for a moment about the best way to answer her. “My dear,” he said. “God is everywhere.” Gurunath explained that when he spoke to her, God was speaking through him. Similarly, when she had asked her question, God was speaking through her. The little girl seemed dissatisfied with this answer. She said that she wanted to see God. Gurunath then invited her to come up to him and look in his eyes so she could see God. She accepted the invitation and walked up close to Gurunath to gaze into his eyes. She said that when she looked into Gurunath’s eyes, she saw a blue sparkly diamond.

Then one of the adults at the satsang said he wanted to see God, too. Gurunath told him that he could view his (Gurunath’s) physical body. He said that the experience he had given us would last not just for a day but for our whole lifetime. Speaking of himself, he told us very seriously, “You don’t know what you have.”